mystique

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.

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Location: Delhi, India

Someone once asked me,"Why do you always insist on taking the hard road?" and I replied,"Why do you assume I see two roads."

24 August, 2006

Fighting for survival !

Good morning! :)
You woke up with a smile on your face... coz u just had a nice dream... then realized its getting late.. u came out of ur bed.. still thinking abt that dream... still smiling and then blushed a little and forced urself into the reality...
Then did ur daily chorus.. took a bath...then dressed up ( well.. u actually changed 3 dresses to dress up perfectly coz u hv to go to a special date in the evening after work)... went to kitchen... hurriedly made tea and grabbed something to eat...and then left ur house for work... with a big smile on ur face and praying to God to let u have a nice day today!
Its 7:30 in the morning, roads are not crowded and u r walking towards the nearest bus stop...ignoring a group of guys on their bikes which r saying things u don’t wanna hear.. so u just walk faster towards the bus stop.
U reached the bus stop and find another group of guys sitting on the footpath and the moment they saw u coming one of them starts singing “babuji zara dheere chalo” and everyone stares of that group stares at u as if they have X-rays in their eyes.... u simply try to ignore them and jumps into the next bus that arrives even if there is not any space for even a mosquito to fly inside that overcrowded bus!
U fight urself in and try to go towards the “ladies seat” area of the bus.... which, by the way, is considered to be “safer”... u are standing there and an old man who is standing behind u cannot keep his hand to himself and hardly misses any opportunity to grope ur breast or a** whenever the driver applies brakes and if u say anything to him he simply says.. “madam ab jagah nahin hai.. kahan jaaoon? “ ( madam there is no space.. where should I go).... u just try to squeeze urself a bit and try to move away from him just to find a 15-16 yr old school boy getting hard on and trying to press himself on u.
Shrugged.. u try to move away from him too and just pray to get a seat to sit... and at that time somehow.. u got the seat.... u are relieved and sit down happily. Then another man comes and stands besides u... he is holding the rod from one hand and holding his office bag in the other... and that “other hand" is touching u again n again.. and u cant say anything coz he is holding his bag. U offer to hold his bag, he handles u his bag and keep his hand in his pocket.. and now that a**hole is touching u from his pocket and when u yell at him to keep away.. he simply escapes by saying “madam aap to bekaar mein chilla rahi ho. Maine to pocket mein haath rakha hua hai” (madam u r shouting unnecessarily. I hv just kept my hand in my pocket)..
well well well.. u don’t wanna get into an argument and are just relieved with the fact that ur destination is just 2 stops away .. so u should get up now...
U fight urself out of the bus and in that process u hv to pass all the “uncles” and a group of guys hanging at the footboard of the bus..and on ur way out u r groped at least by 20 pairs of hands... u jumps out of the bus, take a deep breath and u feel so dirty that u wanna just spend ur entire life below a shower or somehow get ur skin changed....
u hate urself at that time and curse the day u were born.... and u just wanna kill evey male in the world.. but then leave those thoughts behind... after all the day has just begun! U try to remember ur dream again and think abt ur date in the evening and a smile comes back on ur face.
Walking towards ur office u r caught off guard by a guy on a bike who pinches ur breast(in lightning speed) as he zips by. By the time u get over the shock and the pain, he has sped off and u r left feeling dirty and filthy.

You have had enough!
You need that shower!
You need to rub that feeling off your skin!
Now!!!!

Hey girl!! Isn’t this what u go through, in some form or the other, every single day? Mentally u r traumatized, fear takes over. You dont even want to wear the same clothes that you were wearing "that" day. Well, i never wore my favorite yellow top again... after coming from market when i was 12, i got over it in sometime.... but it still pains!

I am not a “feminist” nor do I hv anything against “men”, but I don’t understand this discrimination. After having our day started like this we girls still go to our college/work, and don’t even discuss this with anyone and just laugh it away and start everything again...just imagine how many times in a day a girl have to start afresh.

I see my father, brother, male friends... if they have a little “something wrong” in the morning, everyone who come across them during the whole day, is blasted badly! And after everything a girl goes through, nobody even cares what happened coz she hides everything deep down inside her and sometimes might even cry alone. Now u will say that its “her” fault that she doesn’t talk abt it. Now u tell me, “what should I talk abt and to whom?’ its not easy to discuss this.. or even think abt it.....And where am I at fault if some bastards cant stop being horny as soon as they see a female. Its said that “harassment” happens coz girls don’t dress up properly. So...if its like this.. then why does the same thing happens with a girl in a “salwaar kameez” and a 45 year old woman in a saree?? And even if its coz of the clothes.. why the hell cant u guys have any control on urself??
It might be shocking for the most of guys(descent ones, if there r any) but the truth is that EVERY girl grows up going through this! Whether u r in Delhi buses or in Mumbai local trains, weather in a skirt or in a saree, whether a 10 year old child or 60 year old lady.


Ever wondered why girls talk so much? (yes, u love to see ur girl talking and sometimes that irritates u too). Its because they don’t wanna think abt themselves, they just convert all their pain and sorrows in laughs and gossips and become as normal as ever.



The basic difference between the “Men” and “Women” s that that women have to fight for their survival, for their existence, at every point of their life; as a 5 year old kid when a cousin ar a relative tries to “take advantage” and she is not even aware whats happening; as a 11 year old adolescent who has just been groped for the first time while going to the market with her elder brother, and she doesn’t tells to her brother coz “what wud she say?”; an 18 year old young girl who has just said “no” for a proposal of a roadside romeo and in return that guy threw acid on her face; as 24 year old girl who is about to get married against her wishes coz her family wants to finish off with their duties; as a 33 year old woman whose husband is sleeping around and she sits quietly coz of her children’s future; as a 50 year old women whose children left the house leaving her alone and the list goes on.... A woman has to fight with “men” and the most important, fight with herself to forget, forgive and move on with a blink of an eye.


And after that start of the day.. that girl would still work in the office, with same competence and dedication; would still go on her date, talking non-stop and giggling; would go back to her house fighting again like that in the morning; would reach home and help in the kitchen; would talk and gossip on phone with her friends abt her date and then smiling as ever she would sleep again wishing to see that same dream again and praying to God to have a “better” day tomorrow.
Goodnight! :)

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are brilliant. May your voice be heard. This is amazing stuff!

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Quite sad to read this. I know it happens, that is, I have heard it does from female friends. I am a delhi univ student, male (the "decent" sort u mention - hence I know it only secondhand).

But there are more sides to it. U mention men abusing women, but do you have any idea of how women abuse men? Maybe you might be a "decent" sort of woman (if there are any) so you cant imagine, but it does happen, so much so that many guys think decent women are impossible. I'm hopeful that some are left though, and that some women I know are better people. I'm quite the cheerful optimist in these matters.

There are many ways in which this happens, in the case of either gender, and "touching" is not the sum and substance of it (which - and maybe you will be surprised - is also a part of female behaviour pattern, and many men I have spoken to have confessed it is so, though they speak of it with great reluctance coz its supposedly a "male" culture). At the root of it is education, economics and cultural patterns.

I agree with the previous commenter. May your voice be heard. The reason is the abuse itself. It is a pressure cooker situation. Something needs to be done, and fast.

If you wish to continue the discussion, for whatsoever reason, then I leave my email id.

thinkingliterature@yahoo.com

Good day.

12:21 AM  
Blogger Dushyant said...

Intense write-up.
Keep blogging :)

2:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

girl....u kick ass. keep it up.

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmmm.....Actually its ur name which got me here.......but sitting out here on Diwali nite .....and cribbing with ur own self.....with ur life......seriously speaking.....i do agree with some of ur words.....Yes i do.....its not about ur voice getting heard.....its about ....Life.......this is what life is all about.....i have my own cribbings in life.....But Sim thats not the way......may be u felt good writing this blog.......may be its true.....but thats the way it is.....trust me.....situation r not same always.....there r ups and downs in life.....todays u r goin thru all this......i know it makes u feel worse.....but reading ur blog and a decenet nite will make u feel more worse......so write the good moments...so that if u ever go thru them again....u feel good about it......Sim life is bugging to all.....but its just the way u handle it.......but if i look the other way round.....yes i agree....DTC & BMTC.......all r same.....but keep fighting....may be u will find a way out of it.......ne how...happy diwali....and be happy......We already have too many cribbings in life........i dont think so we need to pen them down to make urself feel worse.......nehow.....Hope u get hold of empty DTC buses from now on....i would pry for it......tc....and enjoy life....atleast try ur best.....
Regards....
Me.....(Male)

1:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

holy cow..!!

Simi u really can write.... u jus rock gal.... brilliant... ^:)^ n thts not coz u r The Queen... ;)

2:50 PM  
Blogger Ankit said...

woha.. that was long.. i really like your style of writing will definitely visit more often.. keep writing!

9:02 PM  
Blogger Sach1 said...

hey that was what i would say a factual blog. u actually came up with what girls r facing nowadays. guess u cud give these bolly directors a good script. all the best!
:)

5:28 PM  
Blogger Mudassir said...

worlds been the same...same old set of perverts move on thru generations...
same shit happens.some break it shit,some face it.
breakin it isnt easy,facing isnt either...but then wat is?
u r weak wen u beilieve u r weak...kick each one of the mo-fos..atleast they ll think twice the next time they want their blood to run down in their balls.
depressing world..

But God has promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the labour,
Light for the way.
;)

nice blog

9:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

brilliant post, realistic and i bet this was needed indeed

..every line is so so damn true.

hats off to you queenie

9:11 PM  
Blogger SAM said...

I really appreciate the manner in which you have presented this grave situation that is plaguing our society today.i would not categorically blame the men although .I believe if you see the complete picture the society itself has become insensitive to obscene acts and lifestyles.
Being a brother myself makes sweat tickle down my spine when i read accounts such as this one.

Sam

11:01 PM  
Blogger Old Monk said...

Wow! its like a volcanic explosion. Anyway, now that the lava has been thrown out you must be feeling quite relieved. Though in agreement with the concerns you have voiced I request you not to generalize. I am sure you must have come across men who give way when you pass them and try their maximum not to let their hands touch any part of your body and do not stare at you or pass any comments. Common Sim, all men are not same as is the case with women. Anyway, a well written piece that expresses anguish about certain recurring indecent situations. I will keep visiting you. Thank you.

4:43 PM  

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